The Culture of No Show, Last-Minute Cancellation and Flimsy Excuses

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One night after coming home from work, Dave noticed how quiet and serious my face I was. I assured him it wasn’t anything he did; I didn’t exactly have a bad day but I expressed my utter disappointment on a very bad habit that is seemingly prevalent in our highly-connected digital world:
NO SHOW.

CANCELLATION.

BAILING OUT ON THE LAST MINUTE.

FLIMSY EXCUSES.

Though I haven’t been around long enough like the Baby Boomers and Gen-Xers (I belong to Generation Y), some of the good virtues these generations have modeled are

1) being committed to your word and

2) showing up at the agreed time and place, with no need of excessive follow-up and confirmation.
Back then, when snail mail, landline phones and pagers were the main venues for personal communication, when an appointment was set and both parties agreed, expect both to show up at the venue. There was no need for excessive reminders and follow-up calls.

Nowadays, despite a barrage of
“Just confirming our meeting…”
“May I remind you…”
“So, I’ll see you on that day.”
“See you on _____ at this time.”

These are some of the responses you would get:
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1. “Sh*********! I forgot, sorry. Pwede bang re-sked?”
There are so many ways to plot and plan one’s schedule. As the famous line goes, “There’s an app for that.”
Before committing to a meeting or a task, is it not common sense to check one’s schedule to see if it’s an open date and time? Also, if you are prone to forgetting, IT IS A MUST TO WRITE THINGS DOWN and SET REMINDERS.

Please consider that the person you committed to has made time and expects something from you. It is so much more embarrassing if the person is able to make it to the appointment (considering travel time and his/her other schedules) and you don’t show up. I made this mistake many, many years ago and the embarrassment towards the other person was something that plagued me for days. I was disappointed with myself because 1) I forgot 2) I said yes to her and said yes to another meeting without checking that their times overlapped. I’ve learned my lesson then. It isn’t a sin to say “I’m not available on that date/time, how about this day?” You just have to make it clear that you would like to meet and you are setting aside time because you value them.

59885282_2232906966744369_5721315640358471412_n2. The “no response at all” bail out
Do you want to meet or no? It’s best to make it clear if you are not interested or there really isn’t space in your schedule for the other party. Saying YES to an invite however and then ghosting on the person who invited you does not make you look important. Yes, you may be busy, something more important came up or there’s an emergency. The key is to communicate these at the soonest possible time so that the other person is not left waiting on you.

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3. *EXCUSE #1 EXCUSE #2 EXCUSE #3* Pwede bang re-sked? Pwede bang bukas na lang?
Be honest. You know an excuse vs. a legitimate reason.
You know when you didn’t do what you were supposed to do, hence the delay.
You know when you’re making up an emergency that doesn’t really exist.
You know when you’re blaming your fault on somebody when it was supposed to be your job all along.

Honesty and time stewardship are very important. If you have deliverables, do what you can to give them at the appointed time. If it does become challenging, then it boils down again to communicating where you’re at so you can manage the other person’s expectations. “I’m having trouble at this stage of the process. Trying to get results but we’re in a stump. I regret to inform you but there might be a 1-2 day delay. I’m sorry but we are trying our best.”

Being honest instead of giving flimsy excuses, gives assurance to the other party that you are committed to follow through your deliverables despite some challenges you encounter.

Have you ever been stood up or cancelled on by someone? What did you feel? How did you respond? Sound off on the comments below, I would love to know your thoughts.
Thanks and have a great day!

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Post-Wedding Reflections

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If you asked Ingrid three years ago if she envisioned herself tying the knot, she would outright tell you–NO. It’s been an interesting journey from being a lovestruck teenager who couldn’t wait to find true love, getting my heart broken, being made to hope and then finally surrendering to God in the area of relationships. I settled into my single life, enjoying and living every moment of it. I wore the NBSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth) tag like a badge of honor, thinking “No man has ever come close and all the others who tried were just not serious.” I envisioned myself devoting my life to media and ministry, traveling the world and just living the single life to the hilt AND THEN DAVE HAPPENED. If you watched these videos, I talked about how I came to a point of confusion. How I was already happy as a single but then I began developing feelings for Dave. I asked God if I was sinning and during my plane ride to Singapore then, I felt the Lord assure me that it was okay. That Dave was from Him. Some people thought our romance was a whirlwind: We became a couple in October 2017, Dave proposed in January and we tied the knot on the exact day of our first year together.

Looking back, I really saw God’s involvement in everything: from the schedules, to the suppliers, the venue, financial provision and the availability of people we chose to be a part of our wedding day. The wedding planning was also an avenue for God to teach us about the essentials of the covenant of marriage. See, we had a very intimate wedding of just 80 guests. Of course it was daunting to put the guest list together. “Baka sumama loob nito pag di natin siya ininvite.” “Should we include him/her? Kilala ba niya tayo talaga or baka acquaintance lang?” Dave and I both are practical with our finances. We could have gone with a 250-person guest list but how would that affect our life after the celebration was over? We wanted to cover our bases, meaning after ng wedding, kailangan sigurado na may pambayad kami ng housing and utilities namin, our transportation, basic needs and the other things for us to build our home. There is nothing wrong with those who choose to splurge on their wedding day–that is your wedding, this is ours. That is your budget, we also have ours. 🙂

I guess through this whole process, one thing I can impart to fellow brides (and grooms) is to not be pressured to mount an extravagant wedding just because someone you know did so. Do not be pressured to avail of all the wedding trends just because a lot of couples have been getting them too. One question that I found very helpful every time I was tempted to avail of a wedding add-on was this: “Will the wedding not push through, if this were not included?” (Hindi ba matutuloy ang kasal kung wala yan?)

It’s been several weeks since we said our vows. As we joyfully build our home together, we’ve been affirmed that we made the right choice to prioritize our life after the wedding day, without any fear of huge debts or the fear of not having enough to sustain our daily living.

 

ON GOSSIPERS AND RUMORMONGERS

It’s important to be careful and discerning of things we are told. No matter how tempting it is to get into all the juicy details, there are three sides to every story. When you are on the receiving end of gossip, it’s best to pause and ask yourself:

  1. What do I get out of this information? How will it help me if I know this?
  2. Am I directly involved? Can I talk to the person to clarify the truth?
  3. Is it necessary that I spread this around?

Also when it comes to gossipers, remember that if they can gossip about others, they can definitely gossip about you.