Sometimes, the atmosphere in a social gathering can be ruined just because of conversation topics that are considered taboo, off-limits or too intrusive. Asking about a person’s salary, talking about someone’s sex life, poking fun at religion or bullying people because of it… it may seem like others have accepted this as a norm, but it’s good to be reminded about manners, respect & courtesy.
From #WhatASteal to #WhatAShame :p :p :p
In this video, I talk about what not to do, what not to say and what not to ask during reunions. Just because everyone does it doesn’t mean it is acceptable. Asking about a person’s private life, bashing, coarse joking, making fun of a person’s weight and appearance should be avoided. It’s boils down to respect and courtesy.
Here’s the VLOG of the career talk I gave to sophomore, junior and senior college students of Poveda. I taught them the importance of having a professional image, gave them job interview do’s and don’ts and told them to be mindful of their character and behavior.
Sure, this question can be masked with “concern” but really, their decision to have kids is none of anyone’s business. This is a common embarrassing question in Filipino social gatherings and I have seen how couples at the receiving end of the question squirm uncomfortably. See, the couple may actually want kids but may have some challenges reproducing. It isn’t their fault that they are experiencing that. Why add insult to injury by asking them a sensitive question?
On the other side of the spectrum, the couple may have that mutual decision not to have children. Again, their reasons are none of anyone’s business. Do not take it against them for it is their choice. Before anyone considers asking this question, I think it’s wise to consider:
- Why must I ask this question? What is my motive?
- Am I friends with the couple? Do they consider me as someone they can trust? – Personal questions like our example above may be alright for people the couple trusts. Don’t just blurt this out when you meet them for the first time or if your friendship hasn’t deepened just yet. Chances are, if the couple grows to trust you, they will mention it without you having to ask.
- Will it directly affect me if I don’t get the answer to the question? Am I “concerned” or just curious?
This may seem like a common question that’s thrown around but it pays to be mindful of how the other party would feel. Remember that courtesy is appreciated by a lot of people–it makes them want to continue talking to you or listen to what you have to say.
Depending on the rules and regulations of your airline, there are some carriers that allow passengers to take any seat they want on a first-come first serve basis. Airlines like Air KBZ of Myanmar let passengers pick their seats but you’ll have to be quick!
For flights with reserved seating arrangements, you must comply with the rules. You only take the seat you’re assigned to. Unless you’re traveling with a group and you’re okay to switch places, then that can be arranged
In the event that you’re not happy with your seat and wish to switch, and you see that there are vacant spots, you will have to wait until boarding is done. Politely speak to the cabin crew and ask if you can be transferred to a vacant seat of your choice. Don’t just voluntarily sit there without asking for permission.
In the case that went viral on social media between Melissa Mendez, Andrew Wolff and his friend Rey Pamaran, you can recall that the actress was on Pamaran’s reserved seat so that she could take a picture of the clouds. Reports say that she informed them about it when the two got to their seats but this didn’t turn out so well.
I think a nicer way to have gone about it is waiting for the passengers who reserved the seats to arrive. If she wished to take a photo, she could have asked permission properly. I guess it would be a different story all together.
Remember, when you’re on a plane:
- Be polite, respect the cabin crew and your fellow passengers. Behave in such a way that you’d like to also be treated, don’t intentionally disturb other passengers if you yourself do not want to be disturbed.
- As soon as you board and find your seat, stow away your carry-on luggage in the overhead bin or under the seat.
- Try to use the restroom before the plane takes off. If you get an aisle seat, that’s fine. But what if you get a window seat and you’re seated next to people you don’t know? Of course you will have to excuse yourself as you stand and squeeze yourself to get out of the space.
- Think twice before making a scene. If someone insults you, be the bigger person and think: If I respond to this behaviour, what will I gain? Would it be better to keep my silence? How should I properly respond to this without letting my emotions get out of control?
- Let the cabin crew know if you need any help, if someone is harassing you. In this age of camera phones, everything can be captured and shared online. You might be a viral superstar before you even get to your destination.
Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.
The test of good manners is to be able to put up pleasantly with bad ones.