My Tried and Tested Flu Remedies

December isn’t just peak season for social events and Christmas parties. The change in weather and the flurry of activities can make one’s immune system weak and susceptible to viruses. I thought I’d be able to get through December without getting sick but nope, I still fell ill after I walked in the rain. I was checking out a Christmas bazaar one week night and didn’t think of bringing an umbrella because I figured the December weather this year is so much like summer, surely it won’t rain. But it did and next thing I know, I was sneezing repeatedly and had a runny nose. Had to admit I got sick and put myself through rest and recuperation.

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The Culture of No Show, Last-Minute Cancellation and Flimsy Excuses

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One night after coming home from work, Dave noticed how quiet and serious my face I was. I assured him it wasn’t anything he did; I didn’t exactly have a bad day but I expressed my utter disappointment on a very bad habit that is seemingly prevalent in our highly-connected digital world:
NO SHOW.

CANCELLATION.

BAILING OUT ON THE LAST MINUTE.

FLIMSY EXCUSES.

Though I haven’t been around long enough like the Baby Boomers and Gen-Xers (I belong to Generation Y), some of the good virtues these generations have modeled are

1) being committed to your word and

2) showing up at the agreed time and place, with no need of excessive follow-up and confirmation.
Back then, when snail mail, landline phones and pagers were the main venues for personal communication, when an appointment was set and both parties agreed, expect both to show up at the venue. There was no need for excessive reminders and follow-up calls.

Nowadays, despite a barrage of
“Just confirming our meeting…”
“May I remind you…”
“So, I’ll see you on that day.”
“See you on _____ at this time.”

These are some of the responses you would get:
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1. “Sh*********! I forgot, sorry. Pwede bang re-sked?”
There are so many ways to plot and plan one’s schedule. As the famous line goes, “There’s an app for that.”
Before committing to a meeting or a task, is it not common sense to check one’s schedule to see if it’s an open date and time? Also, if you are prone to forgetting, IT IS A MUST TO WRITE THINGS DOWN and SET REMINDERS.

Please consider that the person you committed to has made time and expects something from you. It is so much more embarrassing if the person is able to make it to the appointment (considering travel time and his/her other schedules) and you don’t show up. I made this mistake many, many years ago and the embarrassment towards the other person was something that plagued me for days. I was disappointed with myself because 1) I forgot 2) I said yes to her and said yes to another meeting without checking that their times overlapped. I’ve learned my lesson then. It isn’t a sin to say “I’m not available on that date/time, how about this day?” You just have to make it clear that you would like to meet and you are setting aside time because you value them.

59885282_2232906966744369_5721315640358471412_n2. The “no response at all” bail out
Do you want to meet or no? It’s best to make it clear if you are not interested or there really isn’t space in your schedule for the other party. Saying YES to an invite however and then ghosting on the person who invited you does not make you look important. Yes, you may be busy, something more important came up or there’s an emergency. The key is to communicate these at the soonest possible time so that the other person is not left waiting on you.

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3. *EXCUSE #1 EXCUSE #2 EXCUSE #3* Pwede bang re-sked? Pwede bang bukas na lang?
Be honest. You know an excuse vs. a legitimate reason.
You know when you didn’t do what you were supposed to do, hence the delay.
You know when you’re making up an emergency that doesn’t really exist.
You know when you’re blaming your fault on somebody when it was supposed to be your job all along.

Honesty and time stewardship are very important. If you have deliverables, do what you can to give them at the appointed time. If it does become challenging, then it boils down again to communicating where you’re at so you can manage the other person’s expectations. “I’m having trouble at this stage of the process. Trying to get results but we’re in a stump. I regret to inform you but there might be a 1-2 day delay. I’m sorry but we are trying our best.”

Being honest instead of giving flimsy excuses, gives assurance to the other party that you are committed to follow through your deliverables despite some challenges you encounter.

Have you ever been stood up or cancelled on by someone? What did you feel? How did you respond? Sound off on the comments below, I would love to know your thoughts.
Thanks and have a great day!

HAS ANYBODY HATED YOU FOR NO REASON?

pinkingrid 800x800 hates you for no reason

This made me reflect. Often, when we encounter something like this, we think “Yes! Somebody hates me but I don’t know why he/she hates me!” then I realized, we have to ask ourselves too:

“Have I hated on somebody for no apparent reason? Like they haven’t really done anything to me nor harmed me, but I hate them?” Hah. The answer wasn’t surprising for me: Yes, many times.

Why do we have the tendency to hate on some people even if they haven’t done anything to us directly? Sometimes these people don’t even know us or have a relationship with us.

“I hate him because he’s annoying.”

“I hate her because she’s such a loudmouth.”

We can come up with a million reasons but we have to get to the root of things—WHAT FUELS THE HATE? Hate is also such a strong word but sometimes when we don’t guard our hearts, a simple dislike could grow into full-blown hatred.

When I recently came across a crass celebrity, I admit I got miffed and some of you my dear friends, have seen me express my utter distaste for her behavior.

But I thought to myself—this girl doesn’t know me. Even if I told her that she has such crass behavior, would she actually listen? Would she take my advice? Maybe not, because we are not friends. Also, even if she goes on with that behavior—that is her issue. She is accountable for that. Will it affect me? Will it impede my daily living? The answer is no. So yeah. I may have been annoyed by her but I had to catch myself quick so it would not cross over to hatred.

What fuels hatred for others? Let us search our hearts.

Is it envy?

Oh the green-eyed monster. Envy can oftentimes lead us to be highly critical of those who have what we think we deserve. Instead of being happy for them, displeasure breeds and it can progress into a desire to destroy them.

“It’s unfair. I deserve what they have! I deserve the life they’re living.”

“They don’t deserve to be happy.”

Take time to ask yourself today: If I don’t like the thought of someone HATING ME for no reason, have I at any point also HATED ON SOMEONE for no reason? Why do I hate them? What is the underlying issue? What do I need to change about myself?

Now if you find yourself on the receiving end of seemingly unwarranted hatred, search your heart as well.

“Is there a valid reason for the person to hate me? Is it something we can talk about?”

“Have I directly and intentionally hurt the person to illicit a response like that?”

If you don’t know the person and you know in your heart that you didn’t intentionally hurt him/her, if the person still hates you, then let the Lord deal with them. Pray that the Lord would enlighten and convict them, bringing to the surface deep-seated issues such as envy and insecurity.

James 3:14-16

14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

Proverbs 14:30

A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.

Have a great day, friends!