August 14, 2006

I know the Lord above will give you
A special man to touch your heart
He’ll gaze at you in starlight
And follow you in moonlight
And he will be your right counterpart

The words hit right home. It’s been my song for the longest time. It speaks the truth. It tells you how you should wait on God as he prepares the man destined to marry you.
Off the OST of the Trumpets’ Production of Little Mermaid, the track is called “Duet for One”. Noel Rayos sings the song and I am transported to a Romeo and Juliet setting. How romantic it is, yet the atmosphere is sad.

I know most of you are waiting for me to cry, but then, I cannot. It’s too complicated. I know that I never want to see him again, although my heart is aching to do so.
I know that I can never have him although I want him so badly..
Sad as it is, I am learning to accept things as they are and move on with life. Give God my everything and live a life of worship. One that points things to him. One that gives him the glory. Concentrate on my relationship in Him and not on anyone else.

Yesterday, I came from a tea party hosted by the ladies of GCF. In case you guys don’t know, I belong to this church in Ortigas where I spend most of my time. It is a joy for me to grow spiritually and the church environment greatly encourages this. I am surrounded by friends who know me not because of my achievements, but because of who I really am. Real people, who take time to pray with you, talk to you and laugh with you.

Going back, it was very inspiring to hang out with ladies who are much older and wiser than I am. They are all mothers, but I learned a lot. Motherhood is truly the noblest of jobs. being a mother means giving your life and time to a group of individuals who scream at you, love you, hurt you and make you cry—they’re called family

I realized that it takes a lot for a woman to give herself to her family. It’s a lifetime commitment. Motherhood is not something that you can get into one day and exit when everything’s not turning out right. To be able to ‘mother’ is a gift from God. It means that the Lord has entrusted lives to you. He trusts you so much to ask you to take care of lives that are special to him, as much as you are special in his eyes.

Right now, I can very well say that I am SO NOT READY for motherhood. I am not ready to get myself tangled up into a family of my own. For goodness sake, I haven’t even reached 25. I’m enjoying the single life. There are so many things to reach, so many things to experience and so much more to learn. I don’t wanna get into marriage unprepared. Marriage is like the middle of a huge lake. If you fall into it and don’t know how to swim you will not survive.

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One thought on “August 14, 2006

  1. nevaeh says:

    Motherhood is really such a difficult mission… but one of the noblest. But He indeed moves in mysterious ways… let’s see how He prepares us for that in His time =)

    Like

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