I so need to detox. I don’t know… I need to rid myself of him. I need to. I’m confused. I need to focus. Going back to “that certain calling” I’m still trying to confirm and run away from, I think that falling in love with him is all but WRONG. I know I can’t bargain with God, He was strict from the start that I am not supposed to be in equal yoke with unbelievers…

I love God, and I want to obey his commands. I know that a relationship with him is something that will truly hurt my Father. But what can I do? I can’t stop the feeling! The best I can do is..NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT—meaning I won’t do anything to further my feelings. They shouldn’t be nurtured just so they’d stop there. Stop from getting any deeper. He shall remain as the best guy friend in the world. I wonder how he feels about it though. Does he consider me his best bud? Well does he? Does he?

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